Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Star Wars Fans

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1. Ralph MacQuarrie’s paintings suck. They don’t even look like anything in Star Wars.

2. I would think it would be obvious that the Prequels are better than the Original Trilogy since they outdo them in Special Effects. Special effects always = better.

3. The reason The Empire Strikes Back sucked is because it lacked all the qualities that made Star Wars fascinating to me: Ewoks, Gungans, midi-chlorians, and Hayden Christenson.

4. Star Wars is so stupid and silly. I don’t get why guys like it so much. I prefer more realistic fantasy that depicts real-life issues like Twilight or Beautiful Creatures or even Hunger Games.

5. Star Wars destroyed serious cinema by popularising the Summer Blockbuster. We used to have great filmmaking like The Godfather, One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and Chinatown. But all of that has been replaced by flashing colours, loud noises, and explosions thanks to George Lucas’ and Steven Spielberg’s rendering movies infantile and ridiculous.

Disclaimer: Everything you have just read was written for the purpose of satire and does not reflect the views of the writer.

 

Contributor: Rick McGimpsey

 

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