Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Guardians of the Galaxy Fans

Contributor: Rick McGimpsey

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1. A talking raccoon? Seriously? I miss the old days when filmmakers like Nolan took comic films more seriously and incorporated more realism into the plot instead of this child-friendly bulls***.

2. So is Zoe Saldana playing an Orion Slave Girl?

3. I never thought I would live to see the day Merle Dixon holding Uhura captive on a space-ship.

4. Why the hell is Stan Lee in here? He had nothing to do with the creation of Guardians of the Galaxy! His cameo is inappropriate!

5. “I am Groot!” (psst..that’s code for this movie stinks!)

Disclaimer: The statements made above do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the writer. They are for purposes of satire only.

Next Monday: Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Walking Dead Fans

 

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