Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Harry Potter Fans

Contributor: Rick McGimpsey


1. The Harry Potter series of books and movies are unwholesome, immoral travesties pretending to be children’s fiction that advocate witchcraft, rebellion, and demonises good wholesome family values.

2. I hate movies where the best actors are not playing the main characters. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint are terrible and are overshadowed by the greats like Alan Rickman, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, etc. 

3. Is it just me or does the scene in Deathly Hallows where the Order of the Phoenix uses polyjuice potion to all look like Harry makes no sense? Why all look like Harry, the guy Voldemort wants dead? Why not disguise themselves as other people which would make more sense?

4. I would rather read what Rita Skeeter has to say than the nonsense that is crapped out by the Quibbler! I don’t care what anyone says, Dumbledore was a terrible human being who in his lust for power murdered his sister and destroyed his family! He can never make up for that!

5. I hate Harry Potter. It’s responsible for the sudden surge in childish YA garbage like Twilight, Hunger Games, and the like. 

Disclaimer: The statements made above are for purposes of satire only and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the writer.

Next Monday: Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Stephen King Fans


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