Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Stephen King Fans

Contributor: Rick McGimpsey

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1. M-O-O-N, that spells shlock!

2. The best film adaptation of King’s books was The Lawnmower Man.

3. Stephenie Meyer is a much more talented writer than King.

4. Dark Tower is a terribly overrated series. The people who read those and liked them are the ones who have truly forgotten the faces of their fathers.

5. Stephen King is a terrible writer of cheap horror fiction who can’t hold a candle to the greats like Stoker, Lovecraft, or Matheson. His characters are cardboard cut-outs of stereotypes, his dialogue is unrealistic, and the plots are always cliched. Furthermore, his writing gives me the impression that he is a racist, misogynist, jackass!

Disclaimer: The list above is written with the intention of satire and does not reflect the views of the writer.

Next Monday: Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to A Nightmare on Elm Street Fans

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