Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Mario Fans

Contributor: Rick McGimpsey

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1. These games are offensive to Italian-Americans and should be banned!

2. Super Mario World or Super Mario Bros. 3 are no where near as good as Super Mario Bros. 2!

3. Games like Mario, Donkey Kong, or Zelda are for children and childish adults. The more mature players play Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, and Skyrim.

4. Princess Peach is stupid and deserves to be kidnapped!

5. Since they have already made Mario turn-based RPG’s they should make some Mario shooters too. You know, have Mario blow the heads off Goombas and Turtles. Make it as gory as hell too.

Next Monday: Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Zelda Fans

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