A PTSD Post (Into the eyes and head of Raven)

CONTRIBUTOR: Raven Akashiya

My hope is to show people that even though hidden, PTSD is a very serious issue. PTSD can become almost lethal if bad enough, please get help.

*** PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION, THIS IS FROM ONE OF MY PERSONAL JOURNALS. MY JOURNALS CONTAIN WRITINGS FROM FEELINGS AFTER ONE OF MY PTSD EPISODES. THIS MAY BE A TRIGGER FOR PEOPLE THAT DEAL WITH OR ARE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE OR ASSAULT.***

Eyes, eyes, cold heartless eyes
Staring, laughing, mocking me
Your intent, to make me suffer
To make me bleed, to kill me
Heavy fists pound me as you laugh
I wish it would stop, please heart please
Stop beating, end this pain
Physical hurts, mental and emotional kills
You said you love me, why are you doing this
Breathing slow, let me be please stop
Crushing me with every strike, every blow
You say I deserve it and you wish I was dead
You say that I am worthless and stupid
Even though I left and you are nowhere to be found
You are still here, just around the corner
I close my eyes and you appear
You have gone nowhere, still here
Laughing and mocking me, stupid girl
Your fists seem heavier and you laughter demonic
Instead of normal it’s supersonic
I wish you would give up, just let me be
But it’s no longer you, it’s me
Fighting invisible demons while everybody stares
“What do we do” they ask as I thrash
Nothing, once again I have to
Relive my past
When I wake I feel everything still
Even your cold heartless eyes begging for more
-Raven Akashiya (2013)

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2 thoughts on “A PTSD Post (Into the eyes and head of Raven)

  1. Marcia

    I think it is incredibly brave of you to open up like this and bare a piece of you and your soul. As someone who has been there and understands and feels every word I thank you for bringing attention to our daily struggle. It was hard to read and to reply back but I’m thankful you had the courage to speak out. I sincerely hope things are better for you now. If you ever want or need to talk you know how to find me on Facebook Raven. Hugs

    Like

    Reply
    1. chrisballenger953 Post author

      Thank you so much Marcia. I was actually terrified to post this, after typing it up it took me almost an hour to publish it. As soon as I did I called my mother and cried. I’m really impressed by all the positive feedback I have gotten. Unfortunately I still struggle with my PTSD, but I have a good support system.

      Like

      Reply

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