CONTRIBUTOR: Raven Akashiya
One of the hardest things a person has to deal with is seeing a loved one hurting, whether it’s a friend or family.
One of he hardest things I dealt with wasn’t watching my best friend slip into depression or watching him try to commit suicide, it was watching him waste away. His addiction to drugs took over his life, and while trying to help him I lost him. But I have no regrets.
We had met back in high school. I was the emo geek girl, he was the popular kid that smoked weed. Years later we started working together, he seemed different than he did in high school but not sick. Our friendship grew strong quickly. Unfortunately so did our views of each others life. He learned about my PTSD, anxiety, and depression; I learned of his depression and his usage. I ignored the fact that he used and we started a relationship, it went fine for a while but circumstances have a way of changing things and views come more into focus.
After learning that I was pregnant he seemed to be excited and promised to quit, unfortunately that was not the case. I fought my urges everyday to give up. I kept going on and trying to convince him to stop but all that it did was cause promises that were never fulfilled and his usage to spike. When I miscarried our child his depression kicked in, which cause him to spiral. Between the weed and pills I didn’t even know who he was. I finally gave up on our relationship.
I tried to hold our friendship together, but he blamed me for everything. Countless days I would sit by my phone and wait for the text saying that he had overdosed. I quickly got to the point that I didn’t even want to have my phone on. I didn’t want to get the calls and texts, I was tired of trying to talk him down and listening to him in his high.
After much fighting he told me that our friendship is over and that he hates me. I can’t honestly say it doesn’t hurt. I watched him go from a mild to a severe user in a matter of months. In the end our friendship is over and I still wonder if he will quit and his life in order. I miss him, and I miss our friendship.
*** You know who you are. I will not put your name out there. If you are reading this I miss you buddy. ***
*** Please get help ***