Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to The Return of the King Fans

Contributor: Rick McGimpsey

6

1. You know with the nearly 2 dozen endings this book has you would think at least one of them wouldn’t be so anti-climactic. This book sucked!

2. This novel is extremely un-American. The ending practically endorses patriarchal monarchy by divine right! Burn it!

3. Yeah, the eagles are pretty much useless.

4. I can’t believe Lost in Translation lost the Best Picture Oscar to this idiotic story!

5. So during the continent-wide reconstruction Gandalf just takes off! We have masses of Haradrim, orcs, Easterlings, etc running about and most of Middle-Earth’s backbone such as the remaining wizards, Eldar, and war heroes just split! Worst fantasy world ever!

Next Monday: Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to The Silmarillion Fans

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