Chapter 2: I’ll Have What She’s Having
“I don’t care, Abel.”
Ophelia weaved through the empty tables, collecting used glasses. She rolled her eyes as the tall, slender male continued to follow after her. He was persistent, she’ll give him that.
“C’mon hot stuff! You know you want to go out on the town with me.”
“The amount of arrogance that seems to ooze out of you is astounding.”
“Hardly,” getting annoyed, she decided to change the subject, “Don’t you have to get back to packing up your equipment?”
As soon as the words left her mouth, Abel started leering at her.
“My equipment is already well taken care of. You wanna check it out?”
“I set myself up for that one,” the Indian woman shook her head as she brought the full rack of dirty glasses behind the counter,” I’m not talking about the tiny piece you call equipment in your pants, jackass. I was asking about your deejay setup.”
Abel hopped up onto the bar top as Duncan came out from the office, Summer and Zoë following after him and chatting quietly.
“Everything is safely put away and locked up. Like Hell I wouldn’t make sure that shit was put away and secured right!”
“At least you can do one aspect of your life correctly.”
Before Abel could defend himself, Zoë and Summer decided to step in to put an end to another of Ophelia’s brutal shut downs of Abel’s advances.
“Okay, I know the idiot can be a bit much to handle more than half the time, but that was a little harsh, Rai.”
“Yeah he’s also perfected the art of turning females off men completely.”
All Duncan could do was shake his head at Zoë and Summer as they managed to simultaneously defend and insult the club’s deejay.
“I do not turn chicks into lesbians!”
Abel turned to Zoë, trying to glare at her for her insinuation, but failing miserably. His indignation just caused the girls to start giggling at him. He turned to Duncan for support, but his boss just shrugged his shoulders and took the rack from Ophelia to put into the dishwasher.
“Well I did go on that one date with you when I first started and I’m pretty sure that only girls do it for me dude.”
Laughing, she jumped up next to Abel on the bar top and hugged him.
“You know I love you~! You’re like, my best friend! I have to tease you; what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”
Abel put his arm around Summer and returned the friendly embrace. She was his best friend, even if she got on his nerves sometimes. He was pretty sure that he got on her nerves just as, if not more often. It was just how they worked. They teased, they fought, and they annoyed each other to no end, but they were always there for back-up and comfort when it counted the most. They were each other’s wingmen, even though Summer would insist she was a wing-woman.
“Umm, a good one?” Duncan answered.
Abel turned around to face him.
“Hey, don’t be sassing my girl! Only I can do that!”
Duncan just laughed. He was more than used to the odd friendship between the womanizer and the strongest woman he employed. It was funny to think that they hated one another when he first hired Summer last year. There was a time that he had security on standby during closing, afraid that the two were going to end up in a bloodbath if left to their own devices for too long.
He isn’t sure what exactly changed between them. One night he came out of his office after closing and found them sitting on the bar top, exchanging high school horror stories. After that, they were near inseparable. They helped each other pick up woman, and they kept one-night-stand scorecards. Duncan wasn’t actually sure which one of the two was the bigger womanizer; both had earned themselves quite the reputation.
“Ugh! How long is Lacy gonna take to change?”
Zoë rolled her eyes at Ophelia’s annoyance.
“She’s covered in glitter and sweat. It takes a little while for her to clean up at the end of the night. I mean, you’re more than welcome to find another ride home if you don’t want to wait.”
Ophelia crossed her arms and sighed as she leaned on the bar. She didn’t have the most patience by the time the night ended; the last thing she wanted to be doing was waiting on a stripper to finish cleaning up to drive her home.
It wasn’t that she had anything against Lacy for being a stripper, she just didn’t understand why Lacy would want to be a stripper. Lacy was on the Dean’s list at her college, she was pretty and had her choice for jobs lined up, yet she stayed here on the fast track to nowhere. She had no goals in life other than hanging out with her friends and taking her clothes off for money. It was like Lacy was throwing all her potential away, and that was something that Ophelia could never be able to wrap her head around.
“Okay, I have officially heard the worst pick-up line ever tonight!”
Everyone turned towards Lacy as she made her way across the empty dance floor towards the bar. There was still traces of glitter on her face and arms, but she didn’t seem to care. The stripper was all smiles as usual as she sat herself down next to Zoë.
“Yo, Eleazer! Get over here! Your gonna wanna here this one!” She yelled across the club to the bouncer.
He made his way over to the rest of the group, shaking his head at Lacy’s brashness. She was without a doubt, the loudest person that he had ever met, and he was a bouncer at one of the most popular strip clubs in the county.
“Okay, so as I was walking around after my last dance, this guy come up to me and says, ‘Those pants are really becoming on you, but if I was on you id be cumming too’!”
Zoë’s eyes widened.
“No! He didn’t!”
Lacy shook her head and laughed.
“Yea he did. I was like no, just no. I had to walk away!”
Abel and Summer almost fell off the bar, laughing at Lacy’s unfortunate encounter. Eleazer and Ophelia were at the very least covering their mouths’ with their hands, trying to be discrete. Duncan put his face in his hands, groaning about the ‘poor fool’s complete lack of game’.
“I think I have a better one! My first night here, this dude came up to me and said, ‘If angels would fall out of the sky they would look like you honey.'”
“Ooooh! That’s a good one!”
Ophelia turned towards Abel.
“So what’s your best cheesy pick-up line?”
Abel mock-gasped and placed a hand over his heart.
“My pick-up lines are never cheesy!”
Zoë rolled her eyes at him.
“Sure they’re not. Just give us your worst!”
Abel put his hand on his chin and thought for a moment.
“Got one! If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago!”
Summer snorted at her best friend as Ophelia burst out into giggles. Zoë leaned back until she was laying across the bar, her head in Lacy’s lap.
“I got one to top my bestie! Make like a diaper and fill my needs.”
Summer looked proud of herself. Ophelia stared at her like she had a second head.
“Oh my God! I cannot believe you said that!”
Rolling her eyes, Summer pouted.
“Well why don’t you try to come up with one!”
“I will,” Ophelia thought for a second before grinning, “I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.”
Zoë couldn’t help but to snort at that one.
“Of course you’d make pick-up lines educational! Alright, I got one now. Lying IS the most fun a girl can ever have without taking her clothes off…but its better if you do.”
Eleazer decided that he wasn’t just going to sit back and let his coworkers have all the fun. He took a deep breath for courage, and then spoke up.
“You can’t beat the classics though! Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”
“Alright, my man,” Duncan high-fived his employee, then turned towards the girls, “God created light, God created the earth, but God was showing off when he created you.”
Lacy blinked a few times, before staring her boss down.
“That one was actually not bad. Smooth there Duncan. Now if only you could turn that charm onto Odette without turning into a twelve year old little boy with his first wet dream.”
The bartender could feel the heat rising up the back of his neck and he quickly turned around to avoid the group seeing his blush. He didn’t turn fast enough, Lacy pointing out his red ears, getting everyone to start teasing Duncan on his crush for the Russian woman.
“Aw, poor Duncan. We’ll stop teasing you for now~”
“Speak for yourself!” Abel said, laughing; until Summer elbowed him in the ribs, fixing him with her best glare. “Fine, no more teasing.”
“Okay, okay. My turn,” Lacy clapped her hands together to get everyone’s attention, “I’m no Captain Marvel, but after I’m done with you you’ll be yelling SHAZAM!”
“You are such a nerd!”
“Come on Summer, give me your best!”
“I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.”
Duncan started choking on air, not fully believing what had just come out of his employee’s mouth. Summer had the most interesting pick-up lines so far.
“I can beat that. Girl if you were a potato you’d be a nice potato.” Zoë put on her best come-hither face; she only managed to last a few seconds before losing her composure and breaking out into giggles. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I said that with a straight face!”
“You are such a weirdo. Now this is a good pick-up line. I can bend you in as many ways as a tertiary structure of a protein.”
“I don’t even know what that means, but I think it sounds kinky.”
“Oh shut up Abel.”
“Are you from Tennessee, cause you’re the only ten I see.”
“Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“Do you live on a chicken farm? Cause you know how to raise a cock!”
“Is that a sunburn or are you always this hot?”
“You appear to be of healthy childrearing age. Would you like to help me launch the next generation?”
With every new line, the laughing increased until they could barely breathe. It was pushing about an hour after closing, and they barely noticed, the only thing on their minds was to out-do everyone else and come up with the best line. Summer was in the lead with the weirdest pick-up lines. Duncan had the lines that could actually work, while Eleazer was sticking to the classics. Abel was revealing his geek side with the comic related lines, and Ophelia was proving that academics was always her top priority, even when being immature. Zoë and Lacy were bringing in some fandom universe lines that weren’t the easiest to understand if you weren’t a TV junky.
“I’m gonna call you pinky toe because I’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture.”
“Hey, I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
“Girl did you fart? Because you blow me away!”
“Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.”
“Nice outfit. It’d look better accelerating towards my bedroom floor at 9.8 mps.”
“What has 134 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk? My zipper.”
“I’m like Fall Out Boy, I’ll be more than you bargained for.”
Zoë actually managed to roll off the bar in her laughter. Eleazer was just barely able to catch her in time before she hit the floor. This only managed to make her laugh harder at the fact that she fell. Tears were forming in her eyes and it hurt her to breathe but she didn’t want to stop anytime soon.
Instead of getting back up onto the bar, Zoë decided she was just going to sit on the floor behind the bar in case she fell again. Duncan rolled his eyes, knowing that Zoë was going to stay on the floor whether he said something or not; she preferred to sit on the ground for a reason he could only hope to never know.
“I’m starting this round!” No one argued, all waiting to see what Lacy would come up with next. “”Urkuk lu Stalga, that’s Klingon for, I love you baby.”
“Psh, like Abel isn’t any dorkier with his!”
“Damn right I am! And here’s another one to prove it! Every superman needs a superwoman, you wanna be mine?”
“Are your legs made of Nutella? Cause I’d love to spread them.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
“I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.”
“I’m gonna drink you pretty.”
“Okay, that one is offensive!”
It seemed like a reoccurring theme that night for one of them to roll their eyes whenever Ophelia opened her mouth. She was always more on the self-righteous, Holier-than-thou side at closing time. Zoë thought it may have had something to do with her sheltered upbringing trying to compensate for working at a strip club, even though she was just a server and not a dancer.
“I swear I saw some guy use that line and he ended up hooking up with the chick in the bathroom! Even I thought he was gonna get slapped!”
“Wow, and that’s coming from Abel!”
“Ha-ha. Very funny Duncan.”
“I thought so.” The owner laughed as he threw his arm over the deejay’s shoulders.
“Girl, are you the Milky Way? Because your ass is outta this world!”
“Nice ‘genes’ and I’m not talking about your pants.”
“If your feeling down, I can feel you up!”
“Girl, I’m no Fred Flintstone but I’ll make your Bed Rock.”
“If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so I could… unzip your genes.”
“Okay, now I feel stupid. I’m pretty sure this is something to do with biology and genetics, but I’m totally lost.”
“I thought you just graduated college?”
“Yeah but I majored in ancient history!”
“Oh yeah. Whoops!”
“For a genius, you are such a ditz.”
Ophelia took slight offense at Zoë’s comment before shrugging it off. Technically the blonde did call her a genius. She can let the ditz part slide for now.
“If you were a crayon you’d be my favorite color.”
Lacy’s pick-up line was just random enough to diffuse the slight tension, getting everyone back into their contest.
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
“Lost my teddy bear…can I sleep with you?”
“I like my women like I like my coffee… Ground up and in the freezer.”
The laughter stopped. Summer looked at the group curiously.
“That isn’t a pick-up line. That’s like a murder confession.”
“I don’t even know what to say to that one.”
Duncan smacked his forehead with the heel of his palm and shook his head. He couldn’t even look at Summer at that point.
“Okay, we’re done. Club’s closed, you’re all clocked out. Go home.”
Lacy snorted, gaining the attention of her co-workers.
“I think Summer finally found a way to make Duncan speechless. Make murder sound like a sex invitation!”
They couldn’t help but to laugh, even as Duncan started to usher them out of the club and into the parking lot.
“I’m locking the doors. I don’t want to see you until tomorrow! Go away!”
They continued to laugh as Duncan walked to his car and sped out of the parking lot.
When she entered the apartment, Zoë dropped her bag next to the door before walking into the kitchen. Her legs felt like lead, her arms felt weightless and she could feel the beginnings of a migraine pulse in her temples. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to go to bed and sleep, but she knew she had to take something for her headache, otherwise she won’t be able to move in the morning.
Trying to be quiet, she opened the cabinet containing the Advil. She swallowed down a couple tablets before putting the container back. She wasn’t ready to go to bed yet, even if that was all her body was aching for her to do. Her mind was swirling with ideas and theories; planning out things that haven’t happened yet. She didn’t know where her sudden burst of creative nostalgia was coming from, and it left her with the feeling that she was missing something obvious.
Zoë decided that she should check on her brother, just to make sure that he was okay. The feeling of missing something, setting her on edge. She made the short trip down the hallway to Sebastian’s door, only to see a note on the door for her, letting her know that he was spending the night at Vlad’s place. She couldn’t help but to smile to herself; Sebastian was happy and in love, what more could she want for her brother?
She turned back around to go to her own room, not noticing Booker looking at her through his open door. When he heard her door shut, he turned back to his third final draft for his screenplay. No matter how many times he wrote it, he couldn’t find an ending that he liked. The ones he had already written were good and would definitely place him in the top ten at least, but they just didn’t click with him. They weren’t perfect in his mind. He needed it to be perfect before he let Zoë look at it.
He didn’t think it would change anything, or what exactly it was he was hoping would change, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that it would change something if he could just get the words right. He felt as if he were a man possessed; possessed with the desire to succeed, possessed with the desire for something more than his conscious mind could understand. It was a longing for something that he knew he had no right to hope for, but it was the thing that kept his heart thumping, his lungs breathing. It was as if it was the blood in his veins, and in the air he breathed. It was his sole life force and would be until he found the perfect ending.
Booker sat at his desk, staring at nothing for a few more moments, trying to find his ending. When nothing came to mind, but a few empty phrases strung together by feelings he couldn’t seem to be able to put into words, he decided to call it a night. There was nothing more he could do for the night without frustrating himself to the point of being counter productive.
Turning off the light, he crawled into bed, hoping to find inspiration in his dreams before he had too wake up and start his routine all over again when the sun came up. He briefly wondered why the thought wasn’t as depressing as it should be, but his tired mind quickly lulled him to sleep with memories of slow dancing across a backyard, Sebastian and Zoë laughing as he kept tripping over his own two feet.
Pulling the pillow tighter over her head, Odette tried to tune out the sounds of Sebastian’s breathless laughter that were floating through the wall. Normally her closet voyeur would be all for listening in on someone as sexually appealing as Sebastian getting laid, but knowing that it was her Uncle that was causing him to make those sounds, that made her sexual organs want to recede further into her body as they shriveled up and died.
She knew that her Uncle was still in the prime of his life and in a new, loving relationship with someone who had a very high libido. Logically she knew that he would be having sex, but there was still that small part of her, that small little middle school part of her, that didn’t think her Uncle had se anymore. It was that same part of every young adult that wanted to deny that there parents still had sex, either because they were “too old” or just because they’re parents and parents don’t have sex anymore. It was childish, but she really never wanted to imagine her Uncle having sex, but it was pretty hard not to imagine the things going on in the other room with the sounds that Sebastian was making.
A rather loud moan permeated the room, soon accompanied by the sound of something hitting the wall. For a second, Odette was worried that one of them had gotten hurt, but then she heard the unmistakable sound of bedsprings squeaking. Apparently her Uncle was into rough sex.
“Ew.” She muttered to herself. That was not something that she ever needed or wanted to know.
Not for the first time that night, she wished that she had earplugs. When another thump against the wall was heard, she turned on her laptop, put her headphones on, and resigned herself to a sleepless night. She was definitely going to be telling Zoë and Booker about this tomorrow. After she had spent the morning embarrassing Sebastian and her Uncle within an inch of their lives, that is. Until then, she’ll have to settle for an all night Archer marathon, and hope the happy couple doesn’t get any louder.
The scent of French toast and coffee filled the air, waking Odette up from where she had eventually fallen asleep on her laptop. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she made her way down the stairs, desperately praying that they were wearing more than just their birthday suits or boxers. It was just something that her still tired mind wouldn’t be able to handle this early in the morning. She had to admit that she was surprised they were even awake this early, especially after the exhaustingly late night they had.
Turning into the kitchen, she blinked. She closed her eyes, counted to three, and then opened them again. Once she determined that she wasn’t seeing things, she sat down at the kitchen table next to Caius. He just smiled at her and handed her a cup of her own. Gratefully she downed half the cup, before questioning what the Hell was going on in her kitchen.
Zoë finished up a few more pieces of French toast and scrambled eggs before putting them on a plate and setting it in front of the confused Russian. Zoë made two extra plates of food, and set them in the microwave.
“You look like Hell.”
Odette snorted. Zoë just continued on, cleaning up the mess she made while cooking. Caius was still just sitting next to her, sipping his coffee and acting like there was nothing out of the ordinary going on.
“I didn’t exactly get much sleep last night. Your brother is a fucking screamer.”
A strangled laugh came out of Zoë’s mouth, choking on the coffee she had just taken a sip of. Caius smirked into his cup, only the slight blush covering his cheeks giving away his embarrassment.
“So not that I’m not grateful for breakfast or anything, but why are you guys in my house so early in the morning? And how did you even get in here?”
Zoë laughed, sitting down on the other side of Caius.
“Well, Seb left a note, letting me know that he was staying over here last night. I thought it would be fun t show up and ask him hw his night was, like any good sister would.”
“Oh, of course!”
Zoë just laughed at her friend’s sarcasm, before continuing.
“So I ran into Caius out front. Vlad wasn’t at the store this morning when Caius got there for his shift. Vlad didn’t call him or anything so he came over to see if everything was okay. We figured since y’all were still asleep, that we’d make breakfast for everyone and chill until the lovebirds woke up; to embarrass the Hell out of them, ya know?”
“Okay. Still doesn’t explain how you guys got into the house.”
“Oh, that’s easy. You told me where you guys keep the spare key.”
Odette dropped her head onto the table, not sure whether she should laugh or cry. The other two occupants of the room acting like it was just another day, breaking into a friend’s house to cook breakfast. If she didn’t know them better, she would think that they do this type of thing regularly. She had a feeling though that this would become a regular occurrence the more Sebastian spent the night. The twins practically lived for embarrassing one another.
“So how long did they go at it?”
“I don’t know. They were still going at it around three. That’s when I gave up on sleep and put my headphones in.”
“Hot damn! I didn’t think Vlad had it in him!”
Odette made a face at her food.
“Okay, ew. I really don’t need to think anymore about my Uncle’s sex life.”
“Just be glad you didn’t hear them in his office yesterday. I was so scared the kids would walk in!”
Zoë started choking again. Odette leaned over the table and started thumping her friend’s back. After a few moments Zoë got herself back under control and took a few deep breaths.
“Fuck! I owe Duncan $20!”
“Why? Wait, do I even want to know?”
“I may have bet him that Vlad wouldn’t have sex at the store.”
There was a momentary pause before Caius burst out laughing.
“God, you don’t even know the half of it! I caught them in the employee bathroom the day after their first date. Didn’t even lock the damn door. Caught an eyeful; I was so shocked, I could only comment on Sebastian’s flexibility!”
“Damn it all the Hell! I’m bleaching down that bathroom when I go in for my shift.”
“You might want to wear gloves if you go into his office. Vlad had to order a new desk. Own f the legs broke off Monday.”
Odette groaned, burying her head into her arms. Zoë patted her friend’s back, chuckling at how disturbed she was getting over Vlad having sex in the bookstore. She knew that she should be more sympathetic. Sooner or later Vlad was going to be spending the night at the apartment, where the walls are thinner and the entire floor will hear about it. Just thinking about it made her want a drink.
“So, how bad are we going to embarrass them when they wake up?”
“We are going to be ruthless! I want them to turn so red, they won’t be able to look us in the eyes for a week!”
“Whoa, someone’s in a vicious mood this morning.”
“You try being kept up all night with their sounds.”
Caius sat there nodding his head, inputting when necessary, as the women plotted how to cause the maximum amount of humiliation on their family members. If he’s learned anything from knowing Odette for the past year, it was that you do not stand between Odette and her sleep. It was not a comforting thought when Odette hasn’t gotten enough rest. There were days when Zoë and Odette would go out all night, only for the taller of the two to come home or into work with the attitude and personality of a wild animal that has been royally pissed off. Those were the days that Odette would stay in the back room, sorting through books and inventory records, too volatile to be allowed to handle costumers.
He was brought out of his thoughts by Zoë asking him if penis shaped pancakes were too much.
“No, go for it! I’ll mix the batter!”
He ended up going into the pantry, pulling out all the necessary ingredients for Zoë’s chocolate chip, raspberry pancakes. There was a part of him that thought it would be overkill, but the bigger part of him wanted nothing more than to see Vlad and Sebastian’s faces when they came down to penis shaped pancakes for breakfast. He’s going with it evening the score for Vlad making him wait at the store for it to open, while Vlad was at home passed out in a post sex bliss with his new boyfriend. There was also that little voice that wanted to see the ever unflappable Sebastian flustered and out f his depth. Sebastian was a nice guy, and Caius respected him; he just couldn’t help but to be jealous of how put together the man always seemed to be. It would be nice to see him stumbling over words for a change.
“How are you going to get them shaped like dicks? Just wondering.”
“Pshh! I got this! Don’t doubt the awesome breakfast skills that I have!”
“Not doubting, just curious.”
“I thicken the batter a bit and slowly pour the batter, shaping it as I go. A low flame helps too.”
“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”
Shrugging her shoulders, Zoë started mixing the ingredients together.
“I may have once or twice for some friend’s birthdays, and once for breakfast the morning after Sebastian came out to our parents. Our dad didn’t find it as funny as Seb and I did,” she put the bowl down and moved to get a pan out, “Neither did mom for that matter.”
The forced casualness in her voice as she mentioned her parents, spoke volumes about their strained relationship. He’d never met them for himself, but Zoë, Sebastian and Booker gave off the impression that Mr. and Mrs. Carter weren’t exactly inclined to want to visit their children. He did know for a fact that they didn’t exactly approve of Sebastian being gay, if Zoë’s rants were anything to go on.
“Hurry up! I think I hear them moving around!”
“Oh God, please don’t let them decide to have good morning sex!”
“They’ll smell the pancakes. They won’t be thinking of sex before food after last night.”
” I got three penis cakes done! Working on the last one now!”
“They’re on the stairs! Get the plates ready!”
Vlad and Sebastian stumbled their way into the kitchen, sitting down at the table before noticing the other’s around them. No one spoke a word as Zoë set down the two plates of penis shaped pancakes in front f the very tired couple, waiting for their reactions.
It took a moment for the shape to sink into the men’s sleep-addled minds. Sebastian nearly fell out of his chair as he turned around to glare at his sister. It would have been more effective, if not for the blush creeping it’s way up his neck. Caius couldn’t help but to make a comment.
“So Vlad,, does Sebastian’s blush cover more than just his neck?”
Sebastian just covered his face as his lover tried to find the words to answer. His sister was just leaning against the counter, trying and failing to hold in her laughter. Odette was pretending she wasn’t interested in his embarrassment, but he could see her shoulders shaking in a silent laugh. He was expecting the teasing from Odette, and he was expecting to get it from Booker and Zoë when he finally got back to the apartment. He was not expecting to get it from Caius and he really wasn’t expecting to get all three of them first thing in the morning, accompanied by penis pancakes made by his loving sister.
“I think Vlad’s stuttering means yes.”
“Man, if you guys were as loud as you were in your office, then I feel so bad for Odette last night!”
“I had to turn my headphones up all the way! I barely got any sleep last night!”
“Damn Vlad! You still got the stamina of a twenty-one year old! Impressive.”
Laughing, Zoë turned to look at her red faced twin.
“Don’t look so scandalized! You were the one doing the deed with him all night!”
“Oh God. I’m never living this down, am I?”
“No, no you’re not.”
“Dude, you kept me up all night long. Did you really expect me to not get some form of revenge?”
It was quiet for a few moments while Vlad and Sebastian cautiously started eating their pancakes. More coffee was being made as Zoë was cleaning up after herself.
“How are you even able to sit down? I mean damn Bas! I figured you wouldn’t even be able to walk today, let alone sit down!”
Zoë and Caius jumped into action, trying to help Vlad and Sebastian to stop choking on their breakfasts while Odette was barely holding herself upright from laughter.
“Oh my God! Sorry! Sorry! I had to say it!”
“Make sure we aren’t eating next time!”
“But where’s the fun in that?”
“Yes, because us choking to death on penis pancakes is so much fun.”
“It’s not like you haven’t choked on a penis before.”
Caius had said it with such a straight face, that Zoë lost it. She ended up having to sit on the ground, clutching her knees. Tears were forming in her eyes as she struggled for breath through her laughter. Her sides ached in the god way you can only get from a deep belly laugh.
Giving up on hiding his face in his hands, Sebastian got up and moved to sit on Vlad’s lap. The older man was sporting a light pink hue, but otherwise didn’t do anything other than adjust his arms so they wrapped around Sebastian’s waist, pulling the younger male closer to his chest. Sebastian turned his head so that it was buried into Vlad’s neck, shielding his face behind the older man’s long hair. Hearing a camera flash, Sebastian groaned, his warm breath fanning across Vlad’s neck, making the older man tense up for a moment.
“Aww~!” Aren’t you two just so adorable~!”
“Easily the cutest couple!”
“They should start wearing matching sweaters soon!”
“That would be even more adorable!”
Sebastian lifted one hand and gave his friend’s and his sister the middle finger before speaking.
“If I didn’t know y’all were being sarcastic, then I’d be seriously questioning if you had mental damage. Actually I still might think that.”
“You know you love us Sebby!”
“Though not as much as he loves Vlad.”
“Or Vlad’s dick.”
“Okay, ew! That’s my Uncle!”
“Sorry! But I had to say it!”
Vlad looked down and caught his lover’s eyes. In a silent act of communication, Sebastian nodded, agreeing that today was going to be a very long day. It only proved their point when Caius made another comment, accompanied by a crude hand gesture that had Zoë and Odette looking torn between being disgusted and laughing. At least they had each other to hold onto while they faced their family, who seemed hell-bent on humiliating them for as long as they could mange to. Vlad sighed. He could really use another cup of coffee right about then.
Contributor ~ Amanda Zober