CONTRIBUTOR: Raven Akashiya
Pregnancy is an amazing time for a woman; there are so many changes that happen. Some are really cool, while others are a pain in the ass (or the back.) But it is all worth it when you hold your baby for the first time. However, sometimes the comments people make can drive you up the wall. Even if intentions are good in a pregnant woman’s mind it could be the worst thing ever said. Here’s my personal list of things said to me that drove me up the wall.
- “You have gotten so FAT! ” … Wait, what do you mean I have gotten fat? *looks in the mirror* Well, I am fat. But come on I’m carrying a small human being in my belly.
- “You don’t look pregnant to me” … Wait a second, are you doubting the existence of my baby? Well thank you very much Snobby McSnobbery, next time I’m dealing with morning sickness you can swap bodies.
- “You shouldn’t eat that you know” … Dude, you are lucky I don’t eat you. When cravings hit I’m going to eat whatever I want. Besides, I’m going to get fat anyway.
- “Are you sure you want another baby?” … It’s a little too late to think about that now. Either way I’m pregnant.
- “Stop being so emotional” … If I could I would. CURSE THESE HORMONES!
- “You look like you just woke up” … Chances are I probably did. When baby starts wiggling and keeping you up at night there’s a good chance that naps will be taken frequently.
- “You need to get all the sleep you can before baby is born” … What is this sleep you speak of? If I forget my body pillow even one night there is no such thing as sleep.
- “Do you want a boy or a girl” … Everyone has a preference. To be honest I don’t care as long as baby is healthy.
- “You are only __ weeks along?!?!?!? Wow, you still have a long ways to go!” … Thank you Captain Obvious! I know how much longer I have. The reminders aren’t helping.
- “That dog is going to hurt the baby!” … Wait, what? Do you even know my dog? Biggest baby in the world. I think he’s more excited about the baby than I am (meh, maybe not.) He may need a little more training but I can guarantee he won’t hurt my baby.
- “Your nursery theme is stupid!” … Who exactly died and left you as nursery monitor? My house, my baby, my rules!
- “The names you picked out for the baby are dumb! Your child is going to be picked on his/her whole life!” … Hey! My kid! If I want to name my son Rusty Peter or my daughter Ima Virgin that’s my business! (No those are not my children’s names.)
I could go on all day. These are a few that I hear on a regular basis. Please remember that our hormones go nuts and we can get a little crazy.