Welcome to the land of expectations a fictional tale inspired by my friends adventures at burning man by Kyle Gerst

He has been in a coma for a long time. 15 long years to be exact.
doctors have pronounced him dead. if it were not for the families generous
financial contributions and the fact the Larry’s dad is on the board for the
hospital he would not still be kept on life support.
     Larry’s dad wanted nothing but the best for his son. He was raised as a
only child in Dallas Tx .Larry was afforded the best opportunities in life that
a old money family from Preston Hollow could give him. Larry had the best
education money could buy and was always told he could be anything he
wanted to be. And growing up where civil rights were just gaining steam
Larry was privileged just on his color alone. His dad being somewhat of
open minded having gone to wood stock and all told Larry to accept people
of all colors. He said the only color in the world is greenbacks. And boy did
his dad mean that. from a early aged Larry’s dad groomed him to be a
businessman. Larry’s dad was a business broker for a living and as such
bought and sold businesses very very regularly. Larry knew what the  term
“mergers and acquisitions” was before he hit puberty.
       Just as Larry’s dad anticipated his son was not only meet his expectations
but exceed them. By the time Larry was 21, all of the city’s old money farts
determined he was the best business broker in the land. What they did not
know is how stressed out Larry was becoming on the inside.
     Larry wanted nothing but to please his dad so all of his life he did so even
at his own expense. Slowly the stress was getting to him. He would wake up
with rapid heart rates and ever increasing panic attacks. He would never
mention this to his family though because he was scared to embarrass them
So his life became was like a never ending treadmill that he could not stop
running on until one day he just dropped to floor.
     The paramedics thought he was dead but upon arriving to the hospital
they deemed he was in a coma. His family wept and wept. They were crying
like there was no tomorrow. And who can blame them because there really
was no telling if Larry was going to live another day.
        His family thought he was deteriorating and as the years went by they
thought he was going to be a lost cause. what they did not realize is that on
the inside he was going through a transformation that would change his life
forever. A transformation that would burn all of his expectations of what life
should be.
         As Larry’s body was in sitting stationary his mind was dreaming
endlessly. He had many dreams. Sometimes in these dreams he was flying.
Sometimes in these dreams he was having sex. And Sometimes he was
dreaming of being in a white room with no where to go.
     Most of his dreams were well…. just that dreams with no logical reason
behind them. Then one day a lady  from the cult of the brain dead social mob
with long ribbons of pink hair spoke to him and said “Larry oh Larry where art
though? where art though Larry? Larry where art though i command you to
be my fairy”.
     Larry just looked at this beautiful woman from the cult of brain dead social
mob with long strands of pink hair and said “Yes darling i will be your fairy”.
so the woman with the pink hair  carried him off to a land that simply Larry
not understand. a land that took them down long hallways branded with the
name sparkle party as if sparkle party was one gigantic corporate sponsor.
     Along this journey in a land that Larry the Fairy could not understand they
met a oracle from the circus formally known as the circus they call steam.
and the oracle also known as bromeister said “Welcome Larry the Fairy”.
Larry said to bromeister how art though known my name? and bromeister
said “Because its is tattooed on your pleasantly plump buttocks good sir. and
Larry the fairy gave a look to the lady from brain dead social mob with the
long strands of pink and hair and she replied “Hey what can i saiy i like to
brand a good buttocks like i brand a good bossom”.
     Before Larry the Fairy could reply bromeister interrupted the conversation
and said “Lets never mind the quips you are here on a mission Larry the
Fairy”. To which Larry the Fairy replied “What mission is that “? and
bromeister said “To know your future. the future from which you will awake.
you are afforded to ask 3 questions regarding your future so choose them
wisely.
     For some reason the first thing that came to mind from Larry was “What
will be the weirdest thing that will happen to me in my life”?  to which
bromeister replied “You will be forced to fight to the death in a cage match
surrounded by a enormous electric fence of singing Tesla coils against the
Lord of the Dark Sidth and the legendary one eyed pirate known as King
Chupa. As Larry was taking in what the oracle just told he spat at another
question just as haphazardly asked the first one. He said to the oracle
“Oracle i feel as if all my life i have never had true friends. i feel everyone is
just playing endless political games. so i ask you bromesiter will i ever find
true friends.” to which bromesiter replied “yes you will meet a band of true
friends known as the wolf pac. the wolf pac will be dressed in decadent furs
of all colors and all sizes. They will come from all over the galaxy and will
have different nick names. one will be a fared skin girl who will dub all of
those not worthy as stuck up brown nosers outside the land of Tejas. She will
welcome you with open arms along the mighty Avitar and his com padres Big
Daddy Circle A and the ever so famous Mr Bitch.”
     Larry is thinking to himself this really is a lot to take in do i even know
what i am getting into. Larry was nervous asking the last question but as a
spontaneous improviser he just went ahead and asked bromeister
“bromeister i feel i have been living a lie. My dad wanted to me to be a big
powerhouse business broker to carry on his legacy. and while i have been
very successful at it i feel as though i have not found my life’s true calling. my
life’s true meaning. To this bromeister i ask when will i find my life’s true
purpose?”  To which bromeister replied “when you are welcomed into the
land of no expectations.”
         And just as quickly as Larry asked his last question a mysterious figure
appeared with a sparkly jump suit and a belt that said he was the
heavyweight wrestling champ of the world  a sounded  a trumpet that could
be best described as a instrument that could have only been contrived from
Greek mythology . this mysterious figure sounded the trumpet 3 times. and
on the 3rd time the oracle disappeared leaving the lady with pink hair and
Larry the fairy in a black abyss with no idea where they were going to go to
next.
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