Top 10 Things You Don’t Say to DC Comics Fans

Contributor: Rick McGimpsey

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  1. Batman is the best hero evar! He could beat up Superman with his eyes closed! The comics? Some quote from Hush? Hey, man, I have only seen the movies.
  2. Psht! As far as I am concerned Alan Moore and Frank Miller ruined The Joker and Batman.
  3. Halle Berry’s Catwoman was way better than the character portrayed in the comics. She made Catwoman interesting.
  4. The Wonder Woman character is sexist. How can you call yourself empowered and wear a skimpy costume like that. It’s insulting. Wonder Woman and Power Girl are the reason the main comic reading demographic is still predominantly male.
  5. Thanks to Sony we shall never see Spider-Man and the X-Men join the Justice League.
  6. Your all-American icon wears his underwear on the outside, you have  a hero who dresses up as a flying rodent, a “hero” who fears the colour yellow, and everyone wears their costumes as tight as possible. And you sit there and defend comics as legitimate literature?
  7. Knightfall, Knightquest, and Knightsend were some of the best Batman stories to date. It completely outdoes The Dark Knight Returns or The Long Halloween.
  8. Aquaman is lame! No, I have never read the comics. How do I know he is lame? I just do, man. Everyone knows it. Leave me alone!
  9. Superman is just a big boy scout. Batman is a much more believable and relatable figure. He evokes perfectly nihilistic Nietzschean moralist ethics. His fondness for bats and the dark is an apparent neo-gothic nytophilic comprehension of the human condition and Man’s inevitable role….[goes on for 3 hours]
  10. I hear Wally West prefers to use Windows operating systems because Apple doesn’t support Flash.

 

Next Month: Top 5 Things You Do Not Say to Marvel Comics Fans

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2 thoughts on “Top 10 Things You Don’t Say to DC Comics Fans

    1. chrisballenger953 Post author

      Sorry for the late reply. I am glad you enjoyed this. To answer your question: no; I haven’t at this point. These posts are shared to my personal Facebook wall and in certain nerd Facebook groups I am in, but otherwise I have not expanded much. Something to think about though.-Rick McGimpsey

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      Reply

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