Just Some Thoughts


I don’t know, I just felt like it needed to be said.

You wanna know why I’m prone to depression, it’s not because people are dicks. Its because I have an illness, deeply embedded in my Family history that plagues my existence. I also don’t want to talk to new people, they make me extremely uneasy. Think about it like this, I even get anxious around the people I know. Now what do you think the other side of that does? I acknowledge your existence out of necessity often times.

Because well, if I don’t that’s just fucking rude and heaven forbid I ever take that approach. Nothing triggers feelings, you are unhappy because there’s something wrong with you. Is that a bad thing? No, it’s just the reality of the situation. Often times, I would rather sit in my house and be completely alone. But then there’s an alternate side to that, my logical part of my brain understands that to thrive this isn’t healthy.

I fight with this all the time, my depression/anxiety may not be the same as yours. And that’s completely fine, but what annoy’s me about some people is they allow it to become their identity. Its apart of me, but is it me? Absolutely not, and it never will be. Its not about beating anything, its about making the best out of the shitty mindset you have to wake up with because you can’t help it. I have always felt alienated from the world around me, but that isn’t something anyone has done to me. That’s just how my brain works, I’m not looking to be treated in any special way. Most of the time, I just wanna be left the hell alone. I do the things that make me comfortable, and as I get older that becomes a more satisfying approach to life.

Contributor- Chris Ballenger


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